FOUR OFFICES ACROSS PENNSYLVANIA · TELEHEALTH STATEWIDE

LGBTQ+ Therapy in Pennsylvania

You don’t have to know exactly who you are, what to call it, or what comes next before you have somewhere to talk about it honestly.

LGBTQ+ affirming therapy gives you room to understand what you are experiencing without anyone else deciding who you are or what you should do about it. In person at four Pennsylvania offices or by secure telehealth statewide.

LGBTQ Therapy bgins with questioning
Licensed therapists
UPMC · Aetna · Highmark · Cigna
Evening appointments
Telehealth available statewide
Four Pennsylvania offices ·

The Real Problem

You’re starting to understand yourself. Now everything else feels less certain

The nameable part might be dating, or family, or anxiety, or a question about what to call this. Underneath it is something harder: how do you work out what is true for you when you can already hear everyone else’s voices in the room?

What people see

Classes, work, friends, family, a social life. From the outside there is no crisis and nothing obviously wrong, which is part of why nobody asks. Something important is being reconsidered and none of it is visible.

What you’re carrying

Questions you have not said out loud yet. Relief and fear arriving together. Attraction, curiosity, guilt that may or may not be yours, excitement you have not told anyone about, and the awareness that understanding yourself differently could change relationships that matter.

Why working it out alone gets hard

The more the question matters, the more tempting it becomes to look outside yourself for the answer. What would my family say. What does my church say. What does the internet say. What label am I supposed to pick. Every one of those is a voice that is not yours.

Who this is for

People arrive at very different points

You may be questioning. You may know exactly who you are. You may be entirely settled about your identity and here for something that has nothing to do with it. All of those belong here.

I’m still figuring this out

Something feels different and you do not yet know what it means, or what words you want to use for it. That is a legitimate place to start.

I know who I am. I don’t know who to tell.

Coming out is not one event. Different relationships carry different timing, different risks, and different reasons to wait or not to.

I’m worried about my family

You can love them and still not know how they will take it, or how the relationship might change afterward. Both things are usually true at once.

Dating suddenly feels new

Attraction, a first relationship, intimacy, rejection, working out what you actually want — all of it can feel like starting over.

My faith and my identity feel like they collide

For some people belief, community, or family tradition becomes part of the question. Therapy is not here to tell you which one to give up.

I know who I am and I am still anxious

LGBTQ+ people get anxiety, depression, grief, and ordinary life problems for all the ordinary reasons. Not everything traces back to identity.

I’m tired of explaining myself

Reading a room before you speak, correcting an assumption, deciding how much to disclose this time. It is a low-grade tax and it adds up.

I want my life to feel like mine

Identity may not be the open question anymore. The question is what kind of relationships, work, and life you actually want to build.

Where it starts

You don’t need a label before you can start talking

A lot of people assume they need to arrive already knowing. Lesbian. Bisexual. Queer. Questioning. Definitely this, definitely not that. As though therapy requires a conclusion as the price of entry.

It does not, and a good therapist is not quietly working toward one on your behalf. The purpose is not to steer you toward an LGBTQ+ identity, and it is not to steer you away from one. It is to help you understand yourself.

You are allowed to be curious about yourself before you are certain about yourself. That is what the room is for — attraction, relationships, fear, hope, the things that have started to make sense and the things that have not.

“I think I know. I am just not sure what happens if I say it out loud.”

LGBTQ in therapy

Where you are now

Uncertainty isn’t failure — sometimes it’s what honesty feels like at first

Several things tend to arrive at once and none of them cancel each other out. Relief and fear. Excitement and grief. Things that suddenly make sense alongside things that just got considerably more complicated.

That combination is not a sign you have it wrong. It is what it feels like to learn something significant about yourself in real time, and almost everyone who reaches out is somewhere in it.

“You don’t have to decide the rest of your life while you are still learning something this important about yourself.”

Why the rush is the problem

The instinct is to resolve the discomfort by settling it — pick the label, tell everyone, or decide it was nothing. Decisions made to end uncertainty rather than because they are right tend to need revisiting. Understanding first.

Understanding and announcing are different

Knowing something about yourself and telling people about it are two separate decisions with two separate timelines. Conflating them is what makes the whole thing feel like one enormous irreversible step.

Questions worth sitting with

The questions underneath the question

What do I know when nobody gets a vote?

Family, friends, partners, the internet all set aside. What are you actually experiencing?

What am I afraid might change?

Naming the fear makes it something you can weigh instead of something you simply obey.

What would I choose if I didn’t have to explain it?

This separates understanding yourself from announcing yourself. They are not the same decision.

Who feels safe enough to know more of me?

Not who you should tell. There is no timetable and no obligation. The real question is trust.

What kind of life do I actually want?

This moves the story past identity. Identity is not the destination. Living is.

The shift

From asking permission to trusting what you know

The victory here is not coming out. Disclosure is one choice among several and it belongs to you — who, when, and whether. What changes is ownership. Four sentences that tend to shift.

What if I’m wrong?

“I don’t need to be certain to be curious.” Understanding develops. It doesn’t arrive complete, and it doesn’t have to.

What will everyone think?

“Their reaction doesn’t define me.” How people respond matters, emotionally and sometimes practically. It does not determine who you are.

When do I have to tell people?

“Disclosure is a choice, not a debt.” You decide who, when, and under what circumstances. Nobody is owed it on a schedule.

Where do I belong?

“I can build relationships where more of me is known.” Not finding your people so much as not editing yourself to stay acceptable in the room.

How it works

A clear plan — three steps

You do not need to arrive knowing. Working it out is the point, and your therapist walks each stage at a pace you set

1

Understand what’s true for you

The first sessions are for getting the picture — what you are experiencing, what feels settled and what does not, attraction and relationships, the family, cultural, or faith influences in the background, anything else going on clinically, and what you want out of being here. No conclusion is being worked toward.

2

Separate your voice from everyone else’s

Then the actual work, shaped by what you bring — anxiety, shame where it is present, self-trust, family expectations, past experiences, decision-making. Noticing whose voice you are carrying. Testing a fear instead of obeying it. Getting comfortable enough with uncertainty that it stops forcing your hand.

3

Build a life you don’t disappear in

Then the part that is action. Choosing relationships that can hold the honest version. Deciding when and how you want to disclose, if you do. Dating from more self-knowledge than you had. Making decisions that line up with what you actually value. The endpoint is not being LGBTQ+ correctly. It is living coherently.

LGBTQ out and proud

Where it goes

A year from now, this may not be the question that defines everything

Right now it can take up most of the available room. That changes, and the change is unglamorous.

You mention the woman you are seeing without rehearsing the sentence first. You stop quietly testing yourself to check whether it is real. You talk to a friend without editing pronouns on the way out of your mouth. You visit your family understanding that their feelings belong to them. You date someone because you like her, not because the relationship confirms something.

You think about work, and dinner, and money, and what you are doing Saturday. It still matters. It is simply no longer an emergency.

Progress tends to arrive quietly: you stop asking yourself the same question every morning, you say someone’s name without rehearsing it, you make a decision without first imagining everyone’s reaction. Your identity becomes something you know about yourself rather than something you have to keep solving.

MEET THE TEAM

The therapists behind your care

The therapists below work with LGBTQ+ clients across our four Pennsylvania offices and by telehealth statewide.

  • Amber Kottner

    Amber Kottner

    MA, LPC

    Locations: South Hills · Telehealth

    Skills: CBT, Solution-Focused, Person-Centered

    Services: Anxiety, Children & Adolescents, Grief & Loss

    I view therapy as a special partnership.

    With more than ten years in private practice, Amber brings a warm, open, and supportive presence — an eclectic, tailored approach that helps children, teens, and adults work through anxiety, depression, grief, and life’s difficult times.

  • Ashley Spahn

    Ashley Spahn

    MSW, LCSW

    Locations: South Hills · Telehealth

    Skills: EMDR, ERP, CBT

    Services: PTSD, OCD, Anxiety

    The therapeutic relationship is a partnership.

    With a warm, empathetic, partnership-based approach, Ashley helps adults work through anxiety, depression, trauma, addiction, and life transitions — and celebrate their growth along the way.

  • Aubrey Revak

    Aubrey Revak

    MA, LPC · Licensed Professional Counselor

    Locations: Telehealth statewide · Shaler High School in person

    Skills: Somatic Techniques, Existential, CBT

    Services: Trauma Therapy, Technology Addiction, Postpartum

    “Meet yourself where you are, and trust that you can grow from there.”

    Hi, I’m Aubrey! I offer a compassionate, trauma-informed, and client-centered approach to therapy, creating a safe, nonjudgmental space where you feel heard and understood. Together, we’ll build on your strengths and cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and emotional well-being.

CONDITION GUIDE

LGBTQ+ guides from our therapists

  • LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy

    LGBTQ+

    What Is LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy?

    LGBTQ+ affirming therapy does not treat being LGBTQ+ as a problem to fix. It means a therapist who is competent, trustworthy, and affirming, so you can bring your whole life into the room — whether you’re there for anxiety, depression, relationships, grief, or anything else. Affirming therapy never includes conversion or "change" efforts, which are harmful. The goal is a life where you don’t have to become less of yourself to belong.

  • LGBTQ+ Family

    LGBTQ+

    LGBTQ+ Family, Love & Belonging

    Discovering or expressing more of who you are can change relationships that were built around an earlier version of you — through coming out, a first same-sex relationship, transitioning, or setting boundaries with family. Conditional acceptance ("we love you, but…") is not the same as belonging. Therapy can help you grieve what changes, set boundaries, and build relationships — including chosen family — where you can be fully known. Claire Friedlander, Graduate Social Work Intern offers affirming, bilingual support.

  • Transitions

    LGBTQ+

    Therapy During Gender Transition: Your First Year

    Gender transition is deeply individual — there is no single template, and people may pursue all, some, or none of the social and medical steps available. Therapy during transition isn’t about proving who you are; it’s about feeling emotionally safe, honoring the different parts of you (the hopeful and the frightened alike), navigating relationships and reactions, and building the life you actually want. Over time, transition stops being the whole story and simply becomes part of your life. CPA Counseling offers affirming, support across Pennsylvania.

COMMON QUESTIONS

Questions about LGBTQ+ therapy

Straightforward answers to what patients ask most often before their first session.

No. Plenty of people come in questioning, or with a word they are trying on, or with no language for it at all. Arriving undecided is one of the more common ways people arrive. You do not owe anyone a label at the door, including your therapist.

No. Therapy that pushes someone toward an identity is as unhelpful as therapy that pushes them away from one, and CPA does not practice either. Your therapist helps you understand what you are experiencing. What you conclude, and what you do about it, stays yours.

Then that is what we work on. LGBTQ+ people get anxiety, depression, grief, relationship trouble, and ordinary life problems for all the ordinary reasons. Treating every difficulty as a consequence of identity is its own kind of not listening. Being with an affirming therapist just means you will not have to justify who you are first.

Only if you want to. Disclosure is a real decision with real consequences, and it belongs to you — who, when, and whether at all. Some people work on it directly. Others never raise it and work on something else entirely. Nobody here will treat coming out as the required ending to your story.

No. Our therapists work with LGBTQ+ clients regularly and you will not spend your first session establishing the legitimacy of who you are before the actual work can start. If something specific matters to you — a therapist with particular experience, or a particular identity themselves — tell our intake coordinator and we will match where we can.

Yes, across Pennsylvania. For people who are not out, or who live somewhere without many options, it is often the difference between going and not — no waiting room, no explaining where you are headed. Many clients mix in-person and virtual sessions.

READY TO START?

You don’t have to have it figured out first

The version where you keep monitoring yourself, editing what you say, and letting imagined reactions make your decisions does not resolve on its own — it just gets quieter and more permanent. You do not need certainty, a label, or a plan for telling anyone. You need somewhere to think out loud. That is what the first conversation is.